I meet people all the time who seem to think hiring a life coach is akin to having a blow up doll in their closet. It’s like it means you’re weak or something. I can’t tell you how many conversations I have with women who say “that’s so cool” but what they’re not saying is, “but not for me.” Of course I totally get that not everyone can afford to pay a life coach but it feels less like it’s about money and more about not letting anyone in. As if to say, “I’m good. I’ll just keep having two glasses of wine a night. I’m fine.” I see that a lot. The “I’m Fine” complex. Sure you are. As long as you have your drinks or your ice cream or your 10 mile run cause, it’s all the same sometimes.
I think there are a lot of people who are living with a very thin, vulnerable veneer of happiness. And no, I am not advocating happiness 24/7. But true happiness every once in awhile would be cool wouldn’t it? But so many people seem to think that if they just buy one more bike (I know, I’m hitting my people where it hurts) or one more throw pillow or one more pair of Lululemon tights, that they’ll be happy(ier). I totally get it. Most of us do it. I mean, most all of us know how to handle denial. It seems easier than asking for help. Than telling someone how we really feel. I totally get it. I like you, am a master of denial.
When people come to me for coaching it’s way more brave than drinking every night (even if you only drink expensive wine) or eating your feelings (even if it’s organic or farm to table). And it’s much more effective. But it does take a bit of gumption. My clients are pretty kick ass. They come to me and spread their lives out on a table and essentially ask me (even if they don’t quite use the words), “Here is where I am and there is where I want to be. How do I get there from here?”. It can feel sticky and maybe a little bit hard but by the time the hour is up, it’s less hard and more of a relief. It’s like taking the bandaid off. It hurts when you’re ripping it off but once you’ve done it, the wound starts to dry out a bit.
Coaching is not for everyone (especially if you really need a therapist or addiction specialist) but the people I work with are amazing. They essentially come to me, they roll up their sleeves and work towards having more. More love, more honesty, more forgiveness and a bit more true happiness. It’s not magic. It’s not a New year’s Resolution. It’s not a juice cleanse. But it works. And hopefully, it lasts. It’s like having a super power.