You Fall Down, You Get Back Up.

I was reading the news this morning about Scott Hamilton and his feelings about not calling the triple salchows for this year’s Olympics (spoiler alert: He’s just fine) and it reminded me about when my husband was teaching our kids how to rollerblade. He took them across the street to a concrete hockey rink. I happened to pass by when I saw one of the kids on the ground trying to get up. I stopped to ask my husband “Did they fall?” to which he replied “No. But I figured they should learn how to get up from a fall before they learn to skate.” That was years ago but I remember it like it was yesterday (although my husband would probably argue that I don’t remember his words precisely) because I thought it was brilliant. Imagine if from the very beginning whether it’s your child’s life or their high school tenure or their college years or during their 20’s when jobs will be won and lost if we taught them “You will fall and you will get back up.”

Resiliency has been a hot word for the last decade or so. Maybe more. I wasn’t paying attention. I don’t remember the word as a kid. Many of us just were. Resilient that is. There’s now a debate about who is and who isn’t and can it be nurtured like a Bonsai or are some people just up a creek without a paddle. I don’t know. I was talking to a mom recently about her daughter who had suffered a fair amount of trauma. I told her that her daughter would make it, she’d get through it. She’d be okay. She replied, “That makes me mad when people say that she’s fine.” I answered with, “I didn’t say she’s fine. I said she will be fine.”

I am not a parenting expert. Actually, I’m not an expert in anything except…nope. Not an expert. But we will fall. We will fail. We will suffer. We will make mistakes. Kids will get lost, some marriages will barely outlast the duration of the ‘Friends’ show and some will become the one we all wish we had. But we will get up. We will survive. Not without pain, grief, anger, crying and perhaps and very likely, way too much Netflix but we will make it. It’s like when babies are small and they fall and we say, “You fell down. You went boom.” Well, we need to add “And you will get up.”